I have blogged a bit about how I how I am struggling with balance. My beloved family, my household chores, my friends, and the job that I am in love with all seem to compete with my time. I have struggled to figure out where balance falls between these things. My prayer has been for wisdom as I continually felt guilty for things I wasn't getting to. I knew I needed to get to the laundry, but felt guilty as I folded it about the precious angel that I wasn't playing with. So common a struggle, but continuous, and heart breaking.
Then I thought I was getting somewhere, and next Scott became the stay-at-home-dad for a few weeks in the interim between him finishing his semester and starting his summer video job once I am out of school. He does an amazing job with Emily, but the house lacked a bit, to say the least. I think any mom knows it is harder to keep the house clean when there are people in it all day. Such the case with Scott. He is an awesome dad, but sometimes I wished he could multi-task. I would come home and see the messes and get in such a funk. I would walk through each room loading my arms with toys, pajamas, empty water glasses, and books and huff my way through the house, delivering each item to its proper place. If you don't know what huffing is, I will explain it to you. Being huffy is when you walk through the house with your lips pursed together as tight as you can get them. (Scott calls this "butt hole mouth.") You scrunch down your eyebrows, and just when you see the recipient of the huffiness enter the room, you inhale through your mouth and exhale through your nose as loud as you can. Then you curtly walk out of the room so the recipient can figure out that you're peeved. (as if he doesn't already know this!)
After I was done being huffy, I figured out how stupid the entire thing was. I needed balance, and it wasn't going to come from being huffy with a multi-tasking-less husband. I am learning to let things go, and to enjoy my time with my loved ones without feeling guilty about what is left unfinished. I am learning that I don't have to get to school at 7 a.m. and that has lead me to faithfully starting my day with my Bible study. All of these are good things. I will keep praying for wisdom that I can figure out this balance. Maybe if I figure it out now it will make it a bit easier when we have more than three in our home and have so much more going on in our lives. But right now, I will work on balancing what I have.